At 19, you are incredibly young. There is absolutely no rush when it comes to these things. It also sounds like you are very clear about what you want and unwilling to settle for less, which is admirable, especially at such a young age. I genuinely love that for you, even though having this mindset often means things take time.
I am approaching 26 myself and have been single for nearly three years, with very little experience of a truly serious relationship. The desire for connection does not disappear, but having this level of clarity and intention when it comes to dating pays off in the long run. Some people might call it being ‘picky’ a ‘maneater’…but it is really just about knowing your standards and honoring them.
Also, try to reframe your mindset. It is not that you are unlovable simply because your experience looks different from that of your peers. Everyone’s timeline is different, and comparison can create unnecessary pressure. That pressure can get to you, but it does not define your worth or your capacity to be loved. Coming from a fellow ‘maneater’ mtu asikuambie kitu.
you see, part of the human experience is feeling emotions at different extremes. i say this to mean i know i'm not unlovable, but the thoughts can get overwhelming considering our times you know? they can have you feeling that way.
i'm so honoured that you read my piece and shared this. it means so much🥹🩷. thank you for your kind words🫶🏻
I get what you mean...we can know something is true logically and still feel overwhelmed by the thoughts/emotion. I'm glad you had the courage to share ❤️, and I'm certain you'll be just fine!
Girl we are the same person different bodies..except that I'm 23..never had a boyfriend 😭🤣....though atp ...my perspective is different...i don't care..anymore
There's something quietly subversive about stating something so personal so plainly in a space optimized for performance. The single state gets weaponized as both failure and empowerment; you strip away those narratives to the simple fact of it. What makes "still" feel like forward motion rather than stasis for you?
Oh wow, thank you so much. You really internalized my piece. By "still" I don't mean that I published this with the intention of being pitied/helped. I mean that I'm choosing to be aware rather than unhappy. I'm choosing to just live. That's everything to me. And it feels forward because there's a lot more to life. My existence isn't centered around my desire for love. It's in rather rare moments that I actually feel the weight, but it not being a constant is refreshing and somewhat promising you know? I don't constantly feel like I’m waiting. Kind of like yes, I’m still single, and that’s okay.
New to substack and i say this is my first article ive read and i love it i have conformed and related to it so much i pray and wish to you that you will find the happiest of love version you deserve Nia💋💕
I feel every bit of your post to the core of my loins..as this sounds like the female version of what i have had to deal with..sounds like i wrote this in a different universe...May I reach out?
At 19, you are incredibly young. There is absolutely no rush when it comes to these things. It also sounds like you are very clear about what you want and unwilling to settle for less, which is admirable, especially at such a young age. I genuinely love that for you, even though having this mindset often means things take time.
I am approaching 26 myself and have been single for nearly three years, with very little experience of a truly serious relationship. The desire for connection does not disappear, but having this level of clarity and intention when it comes to dating pays off in the long run. Some people might call it being ‘picky’ a ‘maneater’…but it is really just about knowing your standards and honoring them.
Also, try to reframe your mindset. It is not that you are unlovable simply because your experience looks different from that of your peers. Everyone’s timeline is different, and comparison can create unnecessary pressure. That pressure can get to you, but it does not define your worth or your capacity to be loved. Coming from a fellow ‘maneater’ mtu asikuambie kitu.
you see, part of the human experience is feeling emotions at different extremes. i say this to mean i know i'm not unlovable, but the thoughts can get overwhelming considering our times you know? they can have you feeling that way.
i'm so honoured that you read my piece and shared this. it means so much🥹🩷. thank you for your kind words🫶🏻
I get what you mean...we can know something is true logically and still feel overwhelmed by the thoughts/emotion. I'm glad you had the courage to share ❤️, and I'm certain you'll be just fine!
Aaaw, anytime 🫂.. happy to be a positive influence 🫶🏽
I relate with this so much,you said what I felt but could never put into words
i'm glad i made you feel seen😁💋
Girl we are the same person different bodies..except that I'm 23..never had a boyfriend 😭🤣....though atp ...my perspective is different...i don't care..anymore
There's something quietly subversive about stating something so personal so plainly in a space optimized for performance. The single state gets weaponized as both failure and empowerment; you strip away those narratives to the simple fact of it. What makes "still" feel like forward motion rather than stasis for you?
Oh wow, thank you so much. You really internalized my piece. By "still" I don't mean that I published this with the intention of being pitied/helped. I mean that I'm choosing to be aware rather than unhappy. I'm choosing to just live. That's everything to me. And it feels forward because there's a lot more to life. My existence isn't centered around my desire for love. It's in rather rare moments that I actually feel the weight, but it not being a constant is refreshing and somewhat promising you know? I don't constantly feel like I’m waiting. Kind of like yes, I’m still single, and that’s okay.
You write and express yourself so well
At 19 I couldn’t have put my emotions out like this 😩
May you go places and definitely may love find you 🥰
I have never ever resonated to a substack piece so deeply as I have this one 🥲
i love hearing this😭!! it's my honour🫶🏻
I’m 26 soon making 27 and feel like I have never been truly loved
Of course have been in things that seemed like they were headed somewhere but all I can say is with or without love life is worth living
And at 19 you still have so much life ahead of you and this is not said in pity
On the contrary I know people whose lives are ruined at 19 because of love
Some enter depression they never get over others may get pregnant or get a girl pregnant
It’s okay to desire love but it’s also worth thinking about that love isn’t all that it’s made out to be
New to substack and i say this is my first article ive read and i love it i have conformed and related to it so much i pray and wish to you that you will find the happiest of love version you deserve Nia💋💕
omg awwww😭☹️☹️ thank you so much♥️
took the words right out of my thoughts wow
🥰🩷
FELT EVERY WORD IN MY SOUL GOSH
i'm honoured 🥹!!
This one 100% hit home🫂
i'm glad you like it🩷🙃
Maybe I quote Melody Lee..."don't compare yourself to sunshine and roses when you're clearly orchids and moonlight"
You're so young sweetheart. so young. you have very many years ahead of you.
🩷🩷🩷🩷
thank you for reading it ahh i adore your work😜🫶🏻
I feel every bit of your post to the core of my loins..as this sounds like the female version of what i have had to deal with..sounds like i wrote this in a different universe...May I reach out?
i'm honoured🤗